ok then Korean encounter is on hold until I read more tom clancy for ideas. So heres this instead, feed back would be nice.
He stood in the ring, his sword heavy in his hand. the bullseye lantern swung over head casting erratic shadows all about. He circled his opponent, the movement stirred up dust from the sand covered floor, as well as the stench of dry sweat and blood.
His own sweat was trickling down his chest, his heart beat faster and his muscles tensed. His first strike was quick, a thrust to the other mans foot, it was parried and the return slash only just misse dhis head, they returned to stance.
Adrenaline filled his body he could no longer feel the quick, heavy thumds of his heart or the blood rushing through his vains. A slash from his opponent met his blade square, jarring his arm, leaving it to shaken to respond.
He felt sick and a strange euphoria came over him, this wasn it, it had sunk it; he could die here.
Lost in his thoughts he only saw the thrust at the last second and he jumped out the way, lost his footing and fell face down in the dust.
He rolled over quickly and sent a wild slash at the others ankles, but his reach was too short. He scrambled to his feet and readied him self.
He swung a blow, it was parried, he side stepped the riposte and back handed the man in the thigh. This was easy he could do it he could win, he could live.
More adrenaline, more sweat, more effort.
His opponent limped forward, his eyes were burning, rage building within him, he gripped his sword in two hands and swung.
He blocked but the power of the blow forced him to his knees, his opponent moved quickly, stepped forward and revesed his sword so it was pointing down in his grip and sent it into the back of his kneck.
He collapsed to the floor blood bubbling up his throat, he still couldn't feel anything. he started to laugh uncontrolably but all that came out was more blood, it pour out his mouth and his wound and sank into the sandy floor.
He last thought was a shock of realisation; he was dying...
TJFNW
2 comments:
I needed a good dose of violence today, thanks.
Hmm...I like it. Its short, abrupt and interesting to read. Is this a complete peice or the beginning of it?
I like the idea of someone laughing while bleeding out of their mouth - you did say it was best to die laughing...though that isn't QUITE what I had in mind ;)
I'll be honest, by 3/4 of the way down I thought he would live. Nice twist.
cool objective achived
TJFNW
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